Survival Mode

Some days around here, we're just in survival mode.  We have so much fun, and it ends in a meltdown.  I know that basic housekeeping rules say to tidy up every night - I just can't get to that point.  Instead, I treasure every quiet moment I get.  I use it to take care of me, so that I can have the strength to take care of the rest of the family.

So here's what I do to survive.....

I start construction projects.  I don't always think them through.  I often get stuck.  Or bored.  Or busy.  They rarely are finished in a timely manner, but they do get finished eventually.  Here is my kitchen "before."  This is a space that once held a refrigerator.  The previous owners moved the fridge and added this counter. All it did was collect clutter.  So I put in a pantry!  It looks better now than it does in this photo, but you get the idea.  I need custom made doors & a shelf for that big open area.  There's a tambour door to hide the microwave.  Its all been painted so hopefully its not so noticeable that the doors don't match the rest of the cabinets.  I also need two small trim pieces to fit as fillers between the new & the existing.

 

Sometimes, I do domestic things - like canning.  This is apricot jelly & apricot syrup.  Six batches of it!  I'd like to be making pickles and canning a few more things but haven't gotten my stuff together yet.

This is what happens in every room, every day.  It won't always look quite like this, but its always something.  At first glance, its just a big mess.  Clothes & blankets on the floor...you're not allowed to pick it up.  Then you ask, WHY?  And I am told something brilliant.  This particular mess was Ava playing "Church Camp."  Em was ready to head off to camp, so Ava was pretending to go too.  Notice she packed only dresses & skirts - must be a fancy camp.  The family room was clean for approximately 15 minutes that night before she found it.

I like to take on big projects that I don't have time for.  If I'm busy with someone else's stuff, I forget how overwhelmed I am with my own life.  This is a bouquet of flowers for a bride's maid.  I recently arranged all the flowers.  As in ALL the flowers.  Bride, Groom, attendants, parents.....then I decided to help with the decorating the day before the wedding.  Yes, Ava had a meltdown.  But it was worth it.  For a few hours, I was a hero.  There's nothing I love more than to be appreciated and to fix things.

Every now & then, when I'm feeling really good - we have a Martha Stewart moment around here.  This is a butterfly made from pancakes & maple sausage links.  Sometimes its an over the top birthday cake.  We recently threw together a last minute birthday party when the girls made their own soft pretzels.  You really just never know what I might do!

Sensory Bin

We had a great day at therapy yesterday.  Ava spent about half her time playing in a rice and bean sensory bin.  So I made one for us!

You can't see them in this photo, but the girls added small toys to play hide and seek with.  This little bin has kept them busy all day!

Granted, we have rice everywhere.  But we also have 3 happy girls!

Don't worry, she'll be fine.

Don't worry, she'll be fine.  That's what everyone told me.  So here's what fine looks like in autism world:

Let's start with bedtime...that's part of getting up.
6:30pm - Ava should have been doing her kitchen chore, to be able to take a bath & start the bedtime routine.
7pm - the kitchen chore was started
7:30 - bath time
8 - meltdown over what to wear the next day.  She was wanting to wear a halter dress (not just against school dress code, but against the Mom & Dad school code too)
8:30 - read a story to baby sister as Ava listened in
8:45 - Ava has another meltdown, insisting I read her the same story I'd just read
9pm - Ava comes downstairs asking for playtime
9:30 - once she laid down, she fell right to sleep
Slept all night
6:30am - started trying wake her up, she moans at me
Continue the process every 5 minutes until she bounces out of bed at 7am screaming "Where is my dress??!!  I TOLD you not to wash my dress.  I don't want my dress washed."  And melts in to a screaming puddle of tears.
The dress fight continues until 7:40 when she finally agreed to let me iron her dress.  (She insisted it was wrinkled)  Just before, she must have eaten her toast...I can't remember now.  The bow never got fully pressed - how do you press a bow that's been stitched down?  I did my best!
8:08 - Ava starts brushing her hair in a frantic rush to get out the door so she can walk.
8:25 - Some how the dress & shoes are on - we're too late to walk.  We take Ava's picture & she gets into the car willingly, forgetting about walking.
8:32 - we walk into the classroom & everything is normal

Then it starts all over again....
11:25 - I peek into the classroom, but can't see Ava.
11:30 - Ava is released to go home, the teacher says she had a great time.

11:31 - We exit the school and enter the first afternoon meltdown.  Ava is whining about a lost money.  I keep telling her I don't see it, you can't take money to school because this is what happens.

11:40 - we're still in the lawn trying to coax Ava into the car.  Big sister heads back in to use the bathroom.
11:50 - I'm tired of this game & try to pick Ava up to carry her to the car.  This, of course, brings on a full meltdown.  Every parent is staring at us (there weren't many).  Ava is forced into her seat & we used the safety cover on her buckle.  She immediately starts trying to get out of her seat.  Half a block later, she's out.  I pull into another one of the school's lots.  By the time I'm out of the car, she has BOLTED!

Imagine this on a sidewalk, without the smiles.

  There is my beautiful girl, running away from me.  Down a busy street.  I ran faster than I've ever run before (I'm NOT a runner), praying all the way.  It took about 50 feet, but I caught her & took her back to the car.  I hit the child safety lock on the door & struggle to get her back into her seat.  We continue home.  No more than 2 blocks later, she's out again.  This time, she's out for blood.  She is hitting me with her fist, with all her strength, while I am driving.  I just keep going.  She's a danger to everyone at this point, but we live 4 blocks from school and I just want to be home.
12:02 - we pull into the driveway.  I go inside to get her a water bottle (she threw her's at me & screamed) and an ice pack.  I go back outside to find she's locked all the car doors.  Windows are down, so I reach in and unlock.  She is then calmly (between sobs) tell me more about the money.  I still don't get it.  I still didn't see the money she'd dropped.  But I apologize, and we head inside as if nothing had happened.

Its now 2pm.  We've had 3 more meltdowns since then, over minor issues like a sister stealing a favorite blanket, or someone looking at her.  We'll have nap time in just a few minutes, but first I needed to vent.

Don't worry about us though.  Things are fine, remember?